the most cruel things for me is to pleasure..along this journey of life...i create that individuality personal...which later be my biggest defect ...i really not realize when i started to pleasure just myself...its really hard for me to pleasure the others even my own parents...i'm not too choosy and that fierce, but when i felt the force inside..i really cannot help myself...i cannot handle the situation evenly and the only things i could think is how not to hurt my own feeling...in sake of happiness i will do everything that pleasure me...i then become so that selfish...i not mean to do so..its not my true intention either..but that's what I'm today!!the most crucial disaster ever is when the others interrupt into my life business and asking me to do dis and that..how incapable i'm..the plans inside my mind not working in its ways...it become a big mess in my head..i always asked my self a question..why we cannot do as what we wish!!why we cannot object??we have a choice...and why we just cannot be ourselves!!they told us to be sincere and truth, but when we choose the sincerity, they will blame us for our rudeness..as for now i face a conflict in my life ..my parents urge me to make a desision which of course not pleasure....but for the respect and love to my parents..i try to adapt it..despite of this,i just want to have my life by my own way..i want to decide everything by myself..i'm not willing to fulfill it..and i feel a big stone humping on my chest..i cannot breath comfortably..and my inner side scream loudly for a free soul!!
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