andai ini ramadhan yang terakhir?

ramadhan satu nikmat dan rahmat...bersyukur diri ini..kerana sekali lagi masih mampu bersua dengan bulan barakah ini...seperti setiap tahun yang sebelum nya..ramdhan suatu yang sentiasa aku nantikan kedtangannya...bagaimana jika ini ramdhan terakhir aku?..ajal jodoh..semua di tangan tuhan..sungguh...tidak ada ilmu kita akan takdir itu..ya Allah jika ini ramdhan terakhir ku..bukalah seluas2 pintu rahmat dan barakah mu..limpahkan seluas luas rezeki ramadhan mu..jadikanlah ramdhan ini penuh kesempurnaan penuh pula pengisiannya..jadi lah aku hamba yang penuh kerinduan kepadamu..pertemukanlah aku dengan lailatu qadarmu..terimalah taubatku dan ampunkanlah segala dosa dan khilafkan sebagai hamba yang daif..berikanlah seluas luas peluang ibadaatku padamu...jadilkanlah aku hamba yang penuh keinsafan dan ketaqwaan ya Allah..andai ini ramadhan terkhir..sungguh..aku akan sentiasa merindui ramadhanmu..

jom buat kotak!

saya mahu satu kotak..bentuknye saya tak kisah..bulat pun ok..petak pun ok..bujur pun ok..saya mahu tinggal dlm kotak tu sorang2..saya mau kotak saya macam poket doremon..macam2 ada..ermm..tpi klu takde mcm2 pun takpe..cukup la ada barang2 yang saya mahukan..saya mahu kotak yang bercahaya...jadi pentup kotak tu mestilah lutsinar..and ada lampu2 neon yang sya suka..bila mlm saya boleh la bukak lampu2 neon tu yang buatkn saya rasa gembira....dan bila malam juga saya nampak bintang2 dan bulan dilangit..kat mna nk letak kotak tu ye? saya mau kotak tu berada diatas bukit or gunung yang tinggi..dikelilingi hutan pine..udara yang sejuk dan nyaman..dan dekat dengan alisran sungai..sistem pengudaraan kotak tu jugak mestilah hebat..supaya setiap hari saya dapat sedut udara yang segar dan bersih...saya tak mahu bawak kawan..saya mahu rabbit kucing ayam-ayam dan burung2 je jadi kawan saya...makanan?mungkin cukuplah ada makanan yang saya mahu makan..kais pagi makan pagi..bukannya miskin..tapi cuba berhidup dengan seadanya..teknologi moden dan makanan mewah jugak masih gagal menjamin bahagia..dalam kotak saya mesti ada satu pintu ajaib..mcm pintu doremon..yang boleh bawa saya pegi ketempt yang berlainan setiap kali saya membuka pintu 2 itu..kerana adalah penting untuk melihat dunia lain..sekadar menambah pengetahuan sendiri..setiap hari saya ..adalah diri saya..adalah membuat kerja yang saya mahukan..memikirkan ape yang saya pikirkan...menjalani hidup tanpa memikirkan org lain..atau cakap2 org yang membingitkan..atau perasaan org yang macam2..setiap org adalah tidak ikhlas..dunia pun sudah tua..saya penat bekejar kejar dalam dunia diluar kotak saya..saya mahu bina satu kotak..seperti dalam impian saya..dunia luar merasakan saya lemah..sebernarnye..terlampau ramai pelarian didunia luar..mungkin saya tidak mahu jadi salah seorang dari pelarian2 itu..mereka ada rumah..meraka ada duit..mereka ada kerjaya..tapi mereka jual jiwa dan diri mereka kepada dunia..mungkin saya penakut..mungkin betul saya lemah..buat ape menjadi terlalu berani dan berdaya saing..hingga lupa kepada asas sendiri..saya suka pak a.samad said..dia orang yang berjaya membina kotaknye sendiri..tidak kalah kepada dunia..saya juga mahu begitu..saya bosan mengharap dari org..saya benci org mempersoalkn saya..saya penat dgn jangkaan org lain..saya menyamph dgn hasad dengki yang entah ape2..mengapa kita perlu hidup mndgr org2 lain yg berkata2..hati kita??saya tidak kisah sehari harian adalah saya dan kotak impian saya diatas gunung tinggi yang terasing..hanya saya diri saya alam dan tuhan!

Oh mY Hector!

I always heart troy!!Always!! An adaptation of Homer's great epic, the film follows the assault on Troy by the united Greek forces and chronicles the fates of the men involved.That what i got from IMDb..Troy is base on true story.. its was one of the greatest war ever!!Terima kasih kepada incik Woflgang Peterson diatas niat murgni beliau bikin ini filim dan juga kerana telah memilih my Big crushed ever to star in this film..tak lain dan tak bukan Mr. Eric Bana..clap..clap..clap..

see see..sungguh menawan dan perkasa!!Hector a prince of troy!!

Eric Bana pegang watak as a hector, an older prince of troy and he has a younger brother named Paris..Orlando Bloom yg tanpa segan silu pegang watak Paris yang manja tu!!

Paris: Do you love me, brother? Will you protect me from any enemy?
Hector: Last time you spoke to me like this, you were 10 years old and you'd just stolen Father's horse. What have you done now?

Hector adalah abang yang sangat penyayang and very protective !!mind that ok!!:D..Seorang Pahlawan yang disegani oleh rakyat dan lawan! Actually, i felt in love with hector not eric bana..but..in person eric bana still hot!!and Hector always all my time crush!!

Sesungguhnye berduka lah saya menonton troy tatkala Hector yang charm itu dibunuh kejam oleh Achilles si prince Greek yang buta hati dan perasaan tu..menonong je ko bunuh hector ye..Kejam Kejam kejam...

Saat Kekasih Hati Dibunuh Kejam!!!

Hector: I've seen this moment in my dreams. I'll make a pact with you. With the gods as our witnesses, let us pledge that the winner will allow the loser all the proper funeral rituals.
Achilles: There are no pacts between lions and men.
[stabs spear into ground, and takes off helmet, throwing it to the side]
Achilles: Now you know who you're fighting.
Hector: [takes off helmet and throws it aside] I thought it was you I was fighting yesterday. And I wish it had been, but I gave the dead boy the honor he deserved.
Achilles: You gave him the honor of your sword. You won't have eyes tonight; you won't have ears or a tongue. You will wander the underworld blind, deaf, and dumb, and all the dead will know: This is Hector. The fool who thought he killed Achilles.

Hector ngan baik ati mintak his last wish from Achilles, satu je dia nak..klu dia mati, dia nk proper funeral rituals..yelah dia kan pahlawan!!klu pahlawan musuh mati pun..dia bagi peluang kat musuh tuk tanam mayat tu leklok..tapi..tapi..Achilles denied his request..boleh ko seret balak aku ngan kuda!!mmg sah hati kering si Achilles ni!!Hate you!!


Hector: If I die...
Andromache: No...
Hector: If I die I don't know how much longer Troy will stand.

See..see..that why today,if u google kat internet..Troy ni diklasifikasikan as a LosT KingdoM..kota yang hilang...troy mana wujud lagi..perdaban troy dah lama mati..klu hector tak mati kena bunuh ngan Achilles..mungkin nasib troy berbeza..coz Hector yang gagah perkasa ada nak pertahankan troy..apa ko dah buat ni Achilles!

Ouch..forgot to mention watak Achilles ni dilakon oleh Brad Pitt..whose said Brad Pitt is damn hot..he's not..he killed my HECTOR!!chet..!!

I'am Hazelnut..

You Are a Hazelnut

You are very unique and distinct. You may even freak some people out.
Most people don't really know how to interact with you.
You get along best with anyone who is super sweet.
But you really do get along with almost anyone. You just need a chance to wow them.

i took a random quiz...it's about a nut that embody you..so i'm Hazelnut..the nut that i like most:D

so..what's nut are you?find it u'reself here

helpless..

~helpless..that what i fell..satu benda yang sangat saya tak mampu untuk berusaha..di mana silap..dimana kurang..sungguh saya tak tahu..like u chasing something..in the end its just a shadow..bayang 2 hitam atau kosong..i can't touch it,feel it, apalagi untuk gengamnya dalam tangan..ujian..sungguh lama saya besabar dgn ujian ini..mungkin datang dari kekurangan sendiri..hingga Allah masih lagi mahu menguji..its really hard to keep positive in this situation..seperti everything goes wrong..i avoided myself from thinking much..and live a life as it should be..in a bright day..i can smile..and in rainy day i can't help myself from tears..dan soalan ni slalu ada...untill when??

a missing part!

its been a very long time..i lost this feeling..a feeling to trust sumone, to keep sumone by your side, to not think much and follow u're heart, to not just think only u're own self, to have confidence with the other, to share the talk, and to refill the missing part...lately..just lately..i'm trying to change that old story...i'll stay positive even its hard and tough..MaY ALLAH Barakah will always be mine..

grew tomato man!

still remembered tomato man??hahaha..tomato man one of 10 vegetables heroes..anime from 80's and 90's.. dulu, i love to hear tomatoman theme song..very captivated..hehehe...neway,i'm not going to write about tomato man,but about the tomato above , my mom grew its in our garden,i though the malaysian climate not very suitable to grow up tomato noncommercial, but still, we manage to grow it in our own home,mybe becoz now is the month of December,so cuaca not very hot n linen sikit kan..from my observation its best month to grow tomato in u're own garden, pokok tomato ni sensitif sikit dgn panas,klu matahari terik je,pokok dia terus yellowish,n mcm tak bermaya je..n its also need much water to grow,tomato ni very fresh, n sweet also, its really differ from tomato u bought at mart, becoz we grew it organically,without any chemical and all, so its preserve natural taste n freshness..give it a try,it worth to grow its by u're own..neway,for those who miss tomato man like me,here the theme song from tomato man series,with a lyric too..hihi

tomato tomano tomato matok,
tomato tomano tomato matok
tomato ke mizaru
tomato ke miza..u
tomatoman..
tomato yate i ka kuda monnoka
tomato juzsubanominonate
tomato keca abut tak kiru monno
karu ka karu kade kasbishita’e
sora sora kotaewot
tasyiakkayi
kokenoto tomatoman!
tomato tomado yu tomato matok
tomato tomado yu tomato mato
tomato ki itta’u tomato ki itta’u
tomatoman !

past present future~

i'm not living to think of the past neither the future..i'm living for the present..future is unpredictable n the past was something bygone..its worth nothing to think both..we couldn't grab the past again,coz its farthest distance, u just could remind of it..n the future,is something we never know,we can plan,but the result maybe different, in future we also will dispose..its time that we can't ever imagine..n beyond our knowledge, i'm living for the present..cos its the only time i fell n experince everything,there's no memories or suprise..we just let our self go through with the time and situation, we can't avoid it by fact..actually, i avoided myself from thinking sumthing from the past, coz its sumtimes really hard to remind it and in other time its make me ungrateful to live in the present..like i really need time machine to travel back to pastime..and it also not me to think of the future, future is not the life that u predict, not the life that u aspect to be like u're dream, i'm not dare to dream thoroughly, i have lots of dream, n not devoted to only one, i like to keep myself lots of options for the future,coz future is really strange to me, the place that by a chance i will reach someday n have no idea how its will be..so that how i set my mind, not to think both!some people would think i'm forgetful, and some will think i'm lack determination..n i'm really not to think of what other think~for me,we really helpless to think of the past n future~

p/s:i'm not english teacher,so i'm really bad with grammar..fuhh..

is it wrong to dream my dream??

~sungguh tidak faham..salahkan kita mempunyai mimpi dan memimpikan mimpi-mimpi kita tu??my friend said this to me...long before.."alah,mimpi je,tak kena bayar pun"..i really dun't understand why people question my dream..its mine not yours..its not means that semua mimpi akan jadi kenyataan..and i'm fully understand that..i just dream my dream that make me happy to think of it..its not means i need to fulfill all my dream..why took it seriusly??like i need to achieve all those dream..or just becoz i had so much dream??adalah lebih baik mempunyai banyak mimpi,kerana lebih bnyak peluang untuk disediakan for future..that why i had many dream in my mind..becoz of the time barrier, i can't fulfill any dream for now...but when the right time come, i will choose the best dream to make it real...why its so hard to understand huh???like my dream really bother u enough..i'r really grateful with my life and what i'm doing right now,and i'm still happy with it..but expectation orang disekeliling sungguh membebankn kepala!!kenapa sushkn kepala memikirkn saya??adakah saya sedang merempat meminta sedekah ditepi jalan,atau tidak ada baju untuk dipakai, atau sgt bodoh untuk berusaha,adakah saya sedang goyang2 kaki menikmati hidup??seperti org gila ditgh2 jalan...anda yang berkenaan sepatutnye susah hati,jika tiap2 malam saya pegi melepak dengan mat rempit atau menghabiskan duit anda utk kepentingan saya...but i did none of it,i'm still studying to fulfill my dream, i'm strugle with my own kudrat to earn money even not much...and i have lots of dream for my future..that make u think i'm nothing...is that so???adakah saya yang tidak bersyukur dengan diri saya..atau anda yang tidak bersyukur dengan apa saya lakukan skrg??adakah anda rasa impian2 saya sgt bodoh dan tak masuk akal sehingga sgt menyusahkan hidup anda??apakah yang anda harapkan sebenarnye??saya menjadi org berguna...adakah saya tidak berguna??

Crochet~

Crochet is from French word which mean hook..that what i got from Wikipedia..hehe..its an art, a part of craft and i heart it:D...crochet maybe agak tidak dikenali sgt kn..to make it simple..in Malay we call it "kait jarum satu" yes that true..yang mak2 awak buat alas meja tu..or mungkin jgak kasut baby awak..hehe..actually i'm happy with the fact that i can master this skill even not yet reach professional standard...klu gitu mesti banyak alas meja kait kat umah saya kan??oh so no no no..i'm not kait alas meja,never..ermm..i made one,tapi terbengkalai sejak berabad dulu kut..i learned this skill since i was 10 years old..that time,my nenek sedara taught me how to mengait..every weekend "tok cik" we called her, will spent her weekend at my house, and that time, she had part time job, selling kopiah kait..she had very impressive skill, but semua tu part of kenangan.."tok cik" pun da lama kembali ke rahmatullah..but still, i'm able to inherit that skill from her..my mom's also my guru for this skill..there's simple key point to learn the art of crochet, master the basic and u will boom..hehe..i'm saying the truth any how..its like u reading the manual, crochet has the coding that u need to understand, dulu my mom belajar mengait alas meja dari buku jepun..even tulisan mmg septah haram x dipahami,but the illustration will ensure u to understand all the technique used..nowadays, i just learn it from internet or youtube,google it,everything there!!ape yg saya kait ye??..hait, i made amigurami..its a type of crocheting which i believe originated from japan,since its name also amigurami which is from Japanese word is it??
i crochet a soft toy, like bunny, heart etc etc etc..between i also crocheted flower, headband, pouch,and etc etc..its fun,believe me..get u're hook and yarn..lets start crocheting:D

lets "pasta"-ing !!

its time for pasta...effect from overdose of korean drama "PASTA"...hehehe...^__^..the drama was good so this pasta i made..hahaha..for those who not very familiar in cooking pasta..i give u a simple summary about this delicious food..originated from Italian cuisine, has many variety and shape..for example, the pasta i made is using spaghetti since only this available at my house for time being, more info of pasta here..pasta commonly used olive oil,tomatoes and Parmesan cheese as it basic ingredient,but nowadays, pasta can be cooked in variety of style, whether u like it creamy, sourly, spicy..its all depends on u're taste and occasion, for me..i enjoy creamy pasta most...creamy shrimp pasta..emm..delicious..usually, i added lots of Parmesan cheese before its all goes to my mouth:D..enjoy~

its nice to enjoy pasta while listening to KYuhyun voice..(^_^)..perfect combination!

sepasang baju melayu untuk ayah!!

As the month of Ramadan nearly to end, the mood of eid Mubarak become more excited. I went for baju raya shopping a few days ago....and there, saya terserempak dgn beberape pelangan lain who also have their hari raya shopping in the same boutique with mine. Nothing seem special, until this old average man, smiled at me and later, i noticed that,this average of malay's grandpa went to this boutique with his daughter. I saw him, mencuba beberape helai baju melayu, and i got it, dia ke butik tu untuk membeli baju melayu. He seem a litle bit shy, when his daughter trying to match him with a few of baju melayu. And this old man said,"ayah tak kisah baju mana-mana pun", he smile brightly while his daughter busy here and there trying to find the best baju melayu for him. From a far, i just keep my eyes for both of them...and deep in my heart, saya rasa sangat terharu dengan kesungguhan anak beliau meluangkan sedikit masa mencari sepasang baju melayu untuk beliau...dan dari riak si ayah, saya dapat melihat betapa dia gembira dengan kesungguhan anaknye mencari sepasang baju melayu yang terbaik untuknya, lucky him to has a daughter like that. When our parents reach their golden days, i thought this little sacrifice will bring full of joy in their life. Sepasang baju melayu untuk ayah, begitu besar maknanya. Hope i also have that chance, Sepasang Baju Melayu untuk ayah, Insyallah!!

Memory of Ramadan!

Ramadan reach us again, with prosperous and glory...we enter the battle again, a war between u’rself ad nafs.. this is a month which full of blessing and love from Allah to all his servant in this universe..Thanks Allah because i’m still breath and healthy to face this Ramadhan..mungkin sudah jadi kebiasaan for us to wish each other happy Ramadan setiap kali datangnye bulan yang penuh berkat ini...i got a wish from my best friend yang dah lama x jumpa..she sent me a simple wishes, but for me its full of meaning “ Slmt bp0sa jiha.rndunye g terawih kt surau asiah 2 dgn ko.huhu”...dulu masa study kami berterawih sama2 kt surau hostel kami surau asiah...after bukak pose,my friend will knock my door and urge me yang tengah malas2 to go for a terawih together..n then kami sama2 turun pegi surau kt bawah..its not big deal mungkin..but that the last terawih i performed with her, and that also my last ramadhan with her and other friends at uia..that really a though ramadhan for me..i’m struggle with myself a lot during that Ramadan..and not long after that i choose to leave uia,and that how everything suddenly end..Even today, i still cannot avoid to tear up while remembering all this moments..sudah banyak masa berlalu...and how the story of us pergi terawih sama2..sudah menjadi cerita lapuk dan jugak satu kenangan...

~i have lots of tears..

i have lots of tears and that is true..my tears not for depressing hour i had..or sad moment i shared..or guilty feeling i gained..or the losing step i counted..or the unsatisfying burden i carried..but the tears i shed for every humanity i saw..for every smile they expressed.. for every beautiful word said, for every sincerity given..for every struggle shown..n for the truth of beautiful life n nature that god's created..thanks..that life is created wonderfully!

stupid!!

its long2 holidays..n saya sangat boring!!suddenly rasa seperti ingin menulis..random topic anyhow..just feel to write this in very long time ago....i have a list of people that i consider stupid in my point of view...its not very long long list after all...it just a simple list...n the list make up by me..i'm not trying to manipulate the definition of stupid any how..just share my 10cent of thought...

1.
i used to know sumone..who claimed intention dia adalah untuk makan for example..but then dia acted of drinking water..stupid rite??adakah niat menghalalkan cara??adakah jika kita kata "kita tidak berniat untuk makan tapi kita makan..." adakah niat dan perbuatan tu sama??i hate those people who used intention as a excuses to seek forgiveness by saying he/she not mean the acted that he/she did..human got a brain rite...that what make u different from an elephant which live in the jungle..so think carefully before u acted!!consider other please!!

2.
and i also used to know sumone..when we give them chance to correct the wrong doing or unwanted situation but he/she totally ignored or deny it without having a second though..u're definitely monkey's baby man...u not loose u're pride if u say the truth..it thumbs of rule..because every people did a mistake..n they always have chance to make it right unless u're really stupid or blind!!

3.
people love to joke rite???its a joke man...nothing serious..its not big deal..i'm just joking..i'm trying to be funny..i'm just playful person..n u're my friend..but again...at least u should has moral while joking rite??..its will make u respected and not look like a fool statue!!n..while joking people might be unexpectedly switch on the wrong button..that how the anger explode..n in worst case scenario..maybe it will cause a death!!sumhowe they just don't know how stupid their joke is..stop doing a stupid joke...n maybe u has a chance to be a murder!!be wise man!!

4.
its stupid when sumone who not really understand u said that they truly understand u..how can meh...saya sndiri tak pernah phm diri saya..n how could u then..we are not wearing a same shoes any how...even how hard u try to fit u're foot in my shoes..but the truth still the truth...u just not me anyhow...i'm maybe live in the jungle because i'm too selfish...but u live in town still do not know how to civil!!

5.
how can people care for their pride n air muka tapi masih menjatuhkn maruah org lain in front of org lain..maybe the others just not important...yeay its seem true..we as human..just too selfish..that the fact..me either...but still as a human its important to show the other a respect..unless u are soo ignorant!!

6.
i never played that game with u..because i care for u,the fact that i know u will hate it...n i'm also hate it..but it seems so easy for u to play it with other before taking any consideration into u're account..other maybe heartless or meaningless..so u can fool them!!its easy rite..its seems like u're the most clever creature in this entire world..but the fact u just the stupid donkeys in my eyes!!

7.
when people did a wrong thing and totally put the blame to other....(yeah..its sound familiar rite)..most people do it...because of what??because they r really have no brain!!

9.
when sumone hurt us...and we feel like a fool or sad..should we pretend not to get sad or get mad??people who lie to their own self..really stupid...bukan tak boleh nak pretend...but pretend bila kita rasa nak pretend bukan sebab nak jaga hati org lain...we're not born to be the heart's keeper..we're are born to consider other..its different..if we feel mad..then we mad..don't said no..

10.
why ada manusia yang sanggup diperbodohkan even they already know the truth??that u deserve the makin hamun??n its not from u're parents..its from u so called gf/bf..u have nothing attached with him/her..so don't waste u're time..and jadi masa kebodohan mereka..sebab if u let that happend u really more stupid dari mereka yang memperbodohkan anda..u have a chance to be free n well treated..is love blind or u who choose to close u're eyes n menjadi buta

i'm already sleepy...n feel stupid because still open my eyes at his hour...i know i should sleep..have a work to do tommorow:D..i'm just writing for fun..no heart feeling:D..my mom birthday tommorow..:D

~when its end...

setiap hujung kehidupan itu kematian...dan setiap perkhabaran kematian membawa bersama angin gelap yang benar-benar sejuk dan dingin..seperti tinggal seorang di tengah-tengah tanah berais tanpa seurat benang...gelap angin yang sejuk benar-benar menyakitkan..mebelati urat-urat saraf yang dalam...dan merasakan diri..sangat sendirian...

craft Shopping today~

after had my breakfast this morning with nice coffee n slice bread..i went to our little town to do some shopping..i got a few cupcakes order..n need to buy some flour and other ingredient at my regular bakery supplier..and then make my road to buy a fresh flower for my room..i do heart a fresh flower..it really nice and warm...i stopped at flower shop in Chinese Town ..i did some walk..n on my way back i notice sewing equipment shop and they have very beautiful button with nice color too..and i bought some, decided to use for my future crochet project...argh..just busying my self like honey bee lately..n now its time for crafting again:)...also bought yellow wool yarn ...will continue my deleyed project then....a gift for my friend birthday:)

Smile on it~morning..

Have this..n shut up!!

poppy seed orange muffin bring up my morning mood..effing good:)

Good man town!!

Saya merasa diberkati dengan kenyataan bahawa Allah selalu membawa orang-orang baik dalam hidup saya! Saya senang bertemu dengan mereka dalam kehidupan sehari-hari saya .. dan kemanusiaan tidak pernah gagal menitiskan air mata di akhir cerita!Saya merasakan keselesaan dan kasih sayang.. yang membuat saya tumbuh lebih kuat hari demi hari~TERIMA KASIH!!~i wrote this entry in English at first..then i used Google translate to translate my writing..suddenly impress with the translation result in Malay:)

~ morning whisper

silent morning...whisper of rain drop..

.
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a cup of hot coffee..
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just enjoying my own self...and wishing myself..
have another nice day jiha!!